Shower in the dark!

Sometimes, let's face it most of the time, I'm burnt out. I work full time. I mum part time physically, full time mentally. At the moment, the mumming is full time everything as Elsie is home getting ready for prep. I really should have booked her in for vacation care, but nope, I can do it! I had thought. 

So now, I'm in week 4 of 6 of Elsie being home while I try to work in my full time job. I shouldn't complain. I am so lucky to have the flexibility to work from home. And I get paid pretty well.

Having said that, I've chucked two sickies, yesterday and today, as I just cannot cope. Work is stressful. Trying to work with a five year old at home is even more so. 

So today, chucked my sicky to try to be a good mum. Nope, no good. Started off ok. We went to the pool for a few hours, then had a rest over lunch. Then visitors for the afternoon. I then got to do about an hours work which was great. Then, after dinner, I'm still running in max burnout mode. All I want to do is have a friggin hot shower for like 20 minutes, in the dark! Maybe light a candle and just have some zen time. Elsie was looking like falling asleep so I'm like "sweet, I'm off to have a shower" but nope, nope, fucking nope. In she comes, "Mum, I want to have a bath with you!" Noooooooooooooooo, kill me now. 

So now I've lost it and said I'm not even having a shower. Put my PJs on. She's crying. Worst Mum ever.

I should mention, I have a husband. He's home too. But that's no good as kids - well they only want their mum. Their burnt out, stressed to the max mum. WTF.